I am not a man hater
per se`
A few have proven to be inspirational
FOR THIS BLOG!

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4/30/2008

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WOMEN'S REVENGE

'Cash, check or charge?' I asked, after folding items the woman wished to purchase.
As she fumbled for her wallet , I noticed a remote control for a television set in her purse.

So, do you always carry your TV remote?' I asked.

'No,' she replied, 'but my husband refused to come shopping with me, and
I figured this was the most evil thing I could do to him legally.'"

Relatively Speaking

A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not
saying a word.

An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of
them wanted to concede their position.

As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs, the
husband asked sarcastically, 'Relatives of yours?'

'Yep,' the wife replied, 'in-laws.'"

The Silent Treatment

A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were
giving each other the silent treatment.

Suddenly, the man realized that the next day, he would need
his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight.

Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE),
he wrote on a piece of paper: 'Please wake me at 5:00 AM.'

He left it where he knew she would find it.

The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and see
why his wife hadn't wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed.

The paper said, 'It is 5:00 AM. Wake up.'

Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests."

4/28/2008

New Chemical Discovered

New Chemical

Evolution has produced an element that has become clearly identifiable
in the past decade or two.

Recent hurricanes and gasoline issues are proof of the existence of a new chemical element. Research has led to the discovery of the heaviest element yet known to science.

The new element, Governmentium (Gv), has one neutron, 25 assistant
neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons, and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.

These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons. Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert; however, it can be detected, because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. A minute amount of Governmentium can cause a reaction
that would normally take less than a second to take from four days to four years to complete.

Governmentium has a normal half-life of 2-6 years; It does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact, Governmentium's Mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganization will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes. This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a critical concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as critical morass.

When catalyzed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium, an element that radiates just as much energy as Governmentium since it has half as many peons but twice as many morons.

4/27/2008

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4/26/2008

More hints

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4/24/2008

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4/23/2008

MARRIAGE SEMINAR

While attending a Marriage Seminar dealing with communication,
Tom and his wife Grace listened to the instructor,
'It is essential that husbands and wives know each other's likes and dislikes.'

He addressed the man, 'Can you name your wife's favorite flower?'

Tom leaned over, touched his wife's arm gently and whispered,
'It's Pillsbury, isn't it?"