I am not a man hater
per se`
A few have proven to be inspirational
FOR THIS BLOG!

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6/28/2008

I NEED A PILL

"My husband decided life would be easier if he wired a new light switch in
the master bedroom to save us from fumbling in the dark for the lamp. 
He cut through the drywall and found a stash of bottles and small boxes inside the
wall.

'Honey!' he called excitedly. 'You've got to come here and see what I found!


I ran in and quickly realized that his next task would be to fix the hole
that now led into the back of our medicine cabinet."

GIVE & TAKE

My friend is engaged in a major custody battle.

His wife doesn't want him 
and 
his mother won't take him back.

IT'S NEVER TOO LATE

Concerned about fitness in my middle 40s,
 I enrolled in an aerobics class.
To my dismay I walked into a room filled with much younger women
and decided to combat my nervousness with humor.

'I'm here to do my postnatal exercises.'

The instructor gave me an appraising look.
 'How old is your baby?'

'Twenty-six, ' I replied."

6/19/2008

You'll Poke Your Eye Out!

FACT..............73%(?) of all accidents occur in the home..........
FACT............................Danger lurks everywhere......................
and
it could be creeping up on you
RIGHT NOW!

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Dinged By A G-String?

Woman, 52, sues Victoria's Secret, claims injury from defective thong
JUNE 17--As she was attempting to put on a Victoria's Secret thong, a Los Angeles woman claims that a decorative metallic piece flew off the garment and struck her in the
eye, causing injuries and a new product liability lawsuit against the underwear giant. Macrida Patterson, 52, alleges that she was hurt last May by a defective "low-rise v-string" from the Victoria's Secret "Sexy Little Thing" line, according to a lawsuit filed last week in Los Angeles Superior Court. A copy of her June 9 complaint, which does not specify monetary damages, can be found below. Patterson's lawyer, Jason Buccat, told TSG that a "design problem" caused the decorative piece to come loose and strike Patterson in the eye, causing damage to her cornea. He added that the eye injury, which caused Patterson to miss a few days of work, will be "affecting her the rest of her life." Patterson is a traffic officer with L.A.'s Department of Transportation. Prior to the lawsuit's filing, Victoria's Secret officials asked to examine the garment and the decorative piece, but that request was rejected by Patterson's counsel. For those unfamiliar with "v-strings," the undergarment is the Victoria's Secret variant on the "g-string," which has long been favored in the battle against visible panty lines.

This article is taken from...............The Smoking Gun
*************************************************************

If you put on a thong and pieces coming flying off with enough force to poke your eye out...
you should not be wearing a thong in the first place!

.....although I did get whiplash once trying to pull the *%#*&@#* string out of my ass. I might have sued too had it not been for the em-bare-ass-ing rope burn.

Ladies...PLEASE...be kind to your behind!!

Granny Panties!....Granny Panties!......Granny Panties!



6/12/2008

Perfection


"Did you know that a proper hug can toss a thought right out of a man's head?" --to Jaenelle, Heir to the Shadows





















    Eduardo Verastegui

6/11/2008

I'll always be in my 70's...

1970's that is!!

....Yeah Baby!...that was My Generation.

I was born into a black & white world ,a poster child for 1960's suburbia, coming of age in a post-psychedelic world of Disco balls, Dancing Queens and DayGlo.
What a time to be a teen with Dance Fever!

.........*****************...........*************************...........****************.........

I recently came across one of those "you know your are from..." email list (which I usually ignore) that took me by surprise. It was "you know you were a girl in the 70's if..." The first line (repeated below) caught my eye and though many of the others did not apply to me, the memories came flooding back to me and I hope my list does the same for you.

So get out your bean bag chair, pour yourself a Fresca and be young again with me.......


The 70's is your generation if.....

  • . . . you wore that rainbow shirt that was half-sleeves and the rainbow went up one sleeve, across your chest and down the other.

  • . . . you owned a bicycle with a floral banana seat, handlebars as high as your head (with long ribbons and a basket. In the early 80's you moved onto the ever popular 10 speed. Gosh that seat hurt.

  • . . . your started out on metal roller skates that go stretched & locked with a "key and then graduated to the "Professional" shoe skates (white) that laced up like granny boots

  • . . . . while we're on skaters you had or desperately wanted a "Dorothy Hamill Do"

  • . . . you wore psychedelic & paisley bell bottoms with midriff tops (and looked cute not trashy.

  • . . .you caught lightening bugs, wore flip flops and played "red light, green light"

  • . . .you carried a metal lunch box to school with a thermos inside. Inside the thermos was glass that broke the first time you dropped it(probably within the first two weeks)

  • . . . your t.v. had knobs that clicked and rabbit ear antennas

  • . . .Admit it......you thought Gopher from Love Boat was cute BUT not as cute as Davey Jones. You never missed an episode of The Monkeys. Hey..heyyyyyyyyy

  • . . . you had rubber boots for rainy days (galoshes) that you pulled over your shoes, owned a smelly, rubber rain coat & tied a plastic triangle over your head.

  • Later you had a " bubble umbrella and lace up granny boots....ohhhh...remember granny skirts, mood rings and chokers!?!

  • . . . you wore snow suits,clip on mittens and wrapped your feet in plastic before putting on your snow boots

  • .. . . you had either a "bowl cut" or a "pixie" because your Mom was sick of braiding your hair. How traumatic when people thought you were a boy.

  • . . . your sleeping bag was a prized possession and you took it on sleepovers with the girls.
  • ******you got your first period at a sleepover and were wearing white pants******** .....oh wait..that was me!

  • . . . you owned several"ponchos" most crocheted by your mom (who was also into macramé planters) & wore toe socks with your clogs.

  • . . .you dressed to the hilt for Easter..tights, new patent leather shoes, matching purse & a straw hat.. and your mother wore hats of bright colors with fake flowers or ones with a gazillion shiny discs all over it..

  • You wore a bathing cap to go swimming that made a frightening noise when you took it off.....like it was sucking out your brain.

  • . . . you used to tape record songs off the radio by holding your portable tape recorder up to the speaker.
  • Jeans were called "Dungarees". All the males in your family owned a "Leisure suit" And your mom wore Velore "Track Suits" and Jogging Ensembles. ................hahahahaha....MY mother jogging....hahahahahah

  • . . .wore your Sunday clothes to go "shopping on the Avenue"

  • . . .Adored the Flying Nun, wanted to dress like "That Girl" (Oh, Donald), watched General Hospital from the beginning and dropped everything to be at "Luke & Laura's wedding"

  • . . . Tattoos were for Bikers, big hoop earrings for Tramps, Black nail polish for bad girls and you only got your ears pierced..once!

  • . . . passed the time with a yo-yo, Frisbee, hoola-hoop or a slinky.

  • . . .went to dances at "The Social Hall"

  • . . .went through a lot of chalk on the sidewalks

  • . . .wanted to be a "Safety" at school and get to "clap the erasers"

  • . . ."Trick or Treated" until midnight and walked to school the next day

  • . . .your most favoritist thing was a powder blue Snow White watch that you kept in your jewelry box...the one with the beautiful twirling ballerina

  • . . .had a Thumbelina doll, Chatty Cathy or Betsy Wetsy...maybe "Mrs Beasley" too

  • . . .thought of Sissy, Buffy, Jody, Mr French and Uncle Bill as family

  • . . .saw Herbie the love bug, the Towering Inferno and "Billy Jack" at the "theater" and probably watched "Nanny & the Professor, the Banana Splits and the roller derby on t.v.

  • . . .had a P.O.W. bracelet and still remember the name on it
  • ********** I do.....Staff Sgt. Russell T Bott...
  • ...................I wonder if I can find out anything? I've always wondered.............

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Well..I'd better stop for now.
There's tears in my eyes and I'm feeling kind of sad. I guess we really did have nothing & everything at the same time. We were safe and we were free...roaming the neighborhood barefoot from sun up to sun down & beyond. And where ever we went & whatever we did our mom's knew it. Our doors were unlocked, our windows were open and somebody always had an eye on us. The world has changed & we can't give that "safe neighborhood" to our children & grandchildren but we can share the memories.

No matter what stage your girls are in (or mood) they really do get a kick out of hearing your corny story.
So.....
Print this out, call your daughters and go pop some Jiffy Pop.
Then look up some "grade school buddies" and email them this
And if you are still fortunate to be able to do so...CALL YOUR MOM!

Please pass this on.....Peace, man.


...la...la...la..laaaaaaa....feel'n groovey....

6/03/2008

Idle Chatter

"Here's a good conversation starter, maybe not at the dinner table but perhaps while he's waiting for coffee (or sex hahah).....

Photobucket

Men love to give advice.
It makes them feel impotent..err..important."